President Calls War Cabinet

To deal with the fish problem. Fish in the Potomac River, which runs through Washington D.C., are described by scientist as starting to have asexual tendencies. I won't go into details. Nevertheless the President sees this as an afront to the sanctity of marriage. I mean we can't have male fish being transexuals and vice versa.

The President told his Cabinet that this abomination of God's work must be handled with Patriot Missile batteries, wiretaps, and a resolution by congress. His cabinet was largely acceptant of the idea, while some started looking for new jobs.

Scientists say they are unsure what pollutants cause fish to morph into a asexual state. Besides all that scientist fear the worst, as the Potomac leads directly to the cities drinking water. Expect asexual people by the end of the year.